You Can't Be All of Them
by sockie1000
Summary: If the guys can argue over who's who on CHiPs, you know they can do the same for the A-Team.


Title: You Can't Be All of Them

Disclaimers: The usual. I own nothing, except a car, a mortgage, and mistakes. Only one of which is relevant.

Summary: If the guys can argue over who's who on CHiPs, you know they can do the same for the A-Team.

Author's notes: I came up with this bunny when I was updating my profile page. You'll see why if you visit it. But do me a favor and don't look until after you read. I wouldn't want to spoil anything.

In any case, thank you to all the kind people who read and reviewed Strategic Ops and thought it was funny. Your kind words encouraged me to write more. So, here you go. Hope you like it .

And no, this is not a sequel. Or a cross-over. It's a stand-alone glimpse into a day on 5-0. Cause, it's fun, and why not?

**********************************************H50**********************************************

"Why not?"

"Because you can't." Danny shook his head. "You just can't be _all_ the members of the A-Team. I don't care if you are the only one who played GI Joe, or the one who always demands to drive, or gets all the looks from the ladies, or pretends to be MacGyver, or likes to blow things up. You can't be all of them."

"Ok, fine." Steve shrugged. "If I can only be one, then I'm Hannibal."

"No way you're Hannibal."

"Well, he leads the team, right? And he makes the plans. And that's what I do." Steve said matter-of-factly.

"Actually, in case you have forgotten, we are_ partners_. Your name might be at the top of the stationary, but we do everything together and you know it. And as to the plans, yeah, you make most of them because you are too stubborn to ask for options. And when I suggest anything _not _related to torture or using excessive firepower, like, I don't know, _REASON_, you ignore it anyway."

"Good. We agree then. I'm the leader and make the plans. I'm Hannibal."

"No, no we do _not_ agree."

"Children." Chin interrupted, walking into the conference room. "What are you fighting about now?"

"We are not fighting." Danny said. "I am trying to rationally discuss with Steven about why he can _not_ be the entire A-Team in and of himself. And that if he has to be one single member, it is definitely not Hannibal."

"Actually," Steve looked at Chin thoughtfully. "You know, Chin- you could be Hannibal."

"Chin? " Danny interjected, furrowing his brows and thrusting a hand in Chin's direction. "Why does Chin get to be Hannibal?"

"Me?" Chin questioned, looking genuinely surprised and then pleased. "Why me?"

Chin thought for a second and continued. "Is it because I know how to do all the tech stuff and can work wonders with rice and sim cards?"

Steve glanced sideways quickly. "Yeah. That's it."

Chin's face fell. "What?"

Steve pursed his lips, furrowed his brow, and shook his head quickly. "Nothing."

Chin sighed. "That's not your nothing face. That's your 'that's not what I meant face'".

Steve looked incredulous. "What? Are you Danny now, naming my faces?"

Danny smiled at Chin and pointed at Steve. "He does have faces, doesn't he?" he piped in cheerfully.

Steve cast a withering look towards Danny.

"Well, I'm waiting." Chin said patiently. "If I'm not Hannibal for my intellect, then why would I be him?"

Steve sighed before looking at Chin sheepishly. "Well, it's just… well, you know… you're the oldest member of the team."

"What?" Chin's eyebrows shot up as Danny burst out laughing.

"Well," Steve continued. "Hannibal was the oldest, and you're the oldest, so it kinda fits." He shrugged.

Chin was clearly irritated. "Need I remind you, I may be the oldest, but you have the most gray hairs."

"That's true." Danny said gleefully, pointing to Steve again. "He's got your there."

Steve folded his arms over his chest, leaned back, and shot Danny a cross look.

"Shut up. Besides, I'm sure you have just as many, we just can't see them because you're blond."

"Nope." Danny smiled and smoothed his hair with his hands. "Not a single one. But not from a lack of trying on your part, I might add."

"I still don't think I should be Hannibal just because I'm the oldest." Chin groused.

"Well, how about because you're the most mature. You did just call us children."

"True." Chin seemed pacified.

"Ok. So if I'm Hannibal, who is going to be BA?"

"Actually" Steve said, "I was thinking Danny for that one."

"Really?" Danny perked up and smiled, pleasantly surprised, and pointed to himself. "I'm BA? Cause you're the one who is the best fighter and all, with all your freaky ninja skills." Danny settled back in his chair, a look of self-satisfaction crossing over his face. "But I guess I am pretty tough. I could be BA."

"Yep." Steve nodded.

"What?" Danny asked, his face dropping upon looking at Steve.

Steve was quiet.

Danny rolled his eyes. "Not again with the 'that's not what I meant' face. Why would I be BA if not for the fact that I'm tough?"

Steve sighed. "You're not going to like it."

"Try me."

"Ok." Steve nodded. "It's because you're a little cranky".

"Cranky?" Danny's voice shot up along with his eyebrows.

Chin blew out a breath and braced himself for the impending storm.

"Cranky? You think I'm a little _cranky_?"

Steve shrugged. "Actually, I think you're a lot cranky. I was just trying to be polite."

"Just because I don't like _the beach_, or your lack of _personal relationship skills_, or the laid back attitude of this _God-forsaken island_ does _not _mean that I am _cranky_. It means I am _sane_!" Danny almost shouted.

Steve nodded. "Thank you for proving my point right there."

Danny huffed, folded his arms over his chest, and looked away.

"Besides," Steve continued, missing Chin's warning look. "You also have the hair…"

Danny turned back to look at Steve, cocking his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. "_The hair_? Insulting my personality is not enough, now you are going after my nice, neatly styled, and might I add, _gray-free,_ hair?"

Steve looked slightly irritated, but continued on nonetheless, gesturing towards Danny's head. "Well, it's not a Mohawk, granted. But it is a bit unusual, how it stands up like that. And it never really moves unless you get into a fight." He cocked his head and continued studying Danny's hair for a moment. "Its almost like it defies gravity. And it's a being all to itself. So, yeah, the hair also makes you BA."

Danny opened his mouth to give Steve a piece of his mind when Chin held up his hand.

"Ok, guys, let's give that one a rest." Chin looked between the two- Danny still huffing, and Steve, almost smiling.

"Let's move on." Chin continued. "Now, can we all agree that Kono would be Face?"

Steve looked thoughtful for a minute. "You know, Kono would be a good Face." He nodded. "She does run all of our undercover ops. And does a great job, I might add."

"And she's definitely the best looking." Danny nodded, then glanced quickly at Chin. "In a nice, sisterly, nonsexual sort of way, of course."

"Of course." Chin nodded. "Then, that's settled. Kono is Face."

"So" Danny started, "if Kono is Face, and Chin is Hannibal, and I'm BA, which is based only on my toughness, of course, because goodness know it's _not _based on my _personality_, my _hair_, or being allowed to drive my _own car_, for that matter, 'cause I'm _not_... then that makes Steve…" Danny smiled as his voice trailed off.

"Nah." Steve shook his head as realization dawned on his face. "Nah, nah, nah."

Danny pointed at Steve and laughed gleefully. "You're Murdock!"

"No way, man" Steve said empathically, still shaking his head. "I am not Murdock."

"Yes, yes you are! You are _so_ Murdock!" Danny continued laughing. "You are the tallest, you have _mainly_ dark hair, you can fly a helicopter, and, best of all, you are undeniably and unequivocally certifiably crazy!"

Steve frowned and folded his arms over his chest. "I pass my psych evals just fine, thank you." He huffed.

"So, who's a little cranky now?" Danny cackled, doubling over in laughter.

"Hey, what's going on in here?" Kono asked, popping her head into the doorway.

Chin walked over and shook his head. "I'm not really sure you want to know."

"Ahhh… " Kono nodded, catching on. "It's a Jon and Ponch thing again, isn't it?"

"You got it. Except this time, it's the A-Team."

Kono looked at Danny, still laughing and Steve, still sulking, and smiled knowingly. "Let me guess… the boss got stuck as Murdock."

Chin nodded. "Yep."

Kono lowered her voice. "Do you think it would help if I said Murdock was really hot?"

Chin laughed and smiled at his cousin.

"It couldn't hurt. After all, it worked the last time."

Kono smiled back, eyes twinkling, and walked into the room. "Hey guys…"

_fin_


End file.
